say hello to the elephant

Hello Angry Elephant.

It seems you are on a crazy rampage, because this living room of mine, is a fucking mess! And you know what! Good for you! I am kind of jealous that you can let your rage out, and clear the path as you go. I wish I could do that.  And now look, I’ve flicked from ‘anger’ to ‘sadness’… oooh hang on, now I’m angry at myself again for not being able to hang on to one emotion. Fuck!  Oh Yep, there’s ‘anger’ again. He is still there. Hahaha!

Lets talk about what we are ‘supposed’ to do with our Anger.

Yes, I know that these uncomfortable emotions are human, and we are meant to have them, because, we are, after all, human. I get it. And I know that we are told to just ‘observe’ these emotions and not get caught up in them, but … why not? Why can’t we get caught up in bad emotions? Why is it ok to get swept away in good emotions but not bad ones? That doesn’t seem fair.  And to be honest, it doesn’t seem healthy to have different ‘rules’ about different emotions.

Are we told to just ‘observe’ uncomfortable feelings because it doesn’t fit in with what is expected of our ‘normal’ and ‘appropriate’ behavior in society?? Mmm…. That is likely. (Although I do need to take into consideration the fact that I am angry, at everything, including society and its expectations, so I just might be projecting in that comment. Ugh) 

On the flipside, if we are meant to only observe the uncomfortable feelings, then maybe we are only meant to observe the comfortable feelings too. Maybe this whole ‘observation of ALL emotions’ is what the Buddhists mean when they say to have ‘non-attachment’…?? Mmm….

However, here’s my theory.

I think, seeing as I am here to have a human experience, I may as well actually experience ALL things human. Including ALL the emotions! I’m so sick of behaving ‘appropriate’. The thing is … I love drinking in love, and happiness! So fuck it, I’m going to be happy when I’m happy and sad when I’m sad.  And…… angry when I’m ANGRY! Which is in fact, TODAY!

Next problem….. because society, and my immediate environment (family) have never encouraged me to express uncomfortable emotions, I’m not actually sure how to. I feel like I want to cry, because I am so frustrated and angry, yet, no tears. They just won’t flow!!!. I actually don’t know how to let myself cry, which I don’t think is healthy. It makes me wonder if I am ‘storing’ those tears some where in body, in perhaps the shape of a tumor… a breast tumor..?? (definitely a story for another day)

How does one let the tears flow, when they can feel those tears, sitting just behind their eyes? Has anyone else ever experienced this problem too?

Perhaps I should watch a sad movie and let the tears come out that way… but will they be the right tears? Will they be the ones attached to the anger and frustration that I am feeling? Or attached to the sad movie I am watching?  I guess there is only one way to find out, and that is to try it.

Stay tuned, I’m off to watch a sad movie. I’ll let you know how it goes in Part 2 of the Angry Elephant blog.

In the meantime, my tip, HAVE your feelings! They are yours and they are a part of you!!

Part 2 of The Angry Elephant

So, I sat down on the couch to look for a sad movie to watch, my husband comes in to check on me. He knows I am feeling frustrated today. He asks me why, and I start to tell him. He tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself and to start noticing the good things around me instead. It’s pretty much ‘standard issue’ what people have said to me my whole life whenever I have expressed my ‘uncomfortable’ feelings, and to be honest, its probably what I have said to others too. Its what you do right? You help people by taking them away from the hurt..? NO I think we need to start normalizing, and supporting, ALL of the emotions! The Comfortable AND the Uncomfortable.

From now on, when I am feeling any of those uncomfortable feelings, I am going to actually experience them. I won’t take them out on anyone, but I AM going to HAVE them. I’m going to cry if I am sad. I am going to do something physical if I’m angry (punching bag, dig holes, throw rocks into the river). I am going to scream if I’m frustrated. AND……let’s not forget the good ones…. I’m going to giggle if I am happy, hug when I’m loved, and smile when I am content. I am going to have ALL of them. ALL of those emotions.

So, “Hello Angry Elephant, I actually think you are frustrated and tired… so……lets go scream into a pillow a few times and have a big nap.”

Night peeps.

Love always

Cherlisa xoxo

ps….. I cried in the movie…. and …. yes, it did help. So, I will definitely use that again, to help get those tears out of my body. Please let me know if you have any other tips and tricks for allowing yourself to HAVE, and express, uncomfortable emotions.